Coriolanus

I watch a lot of movies and I certainly don't write about all of them (though it is always my intent to write more), but film adaptations of Shakespeare's plays always seem to stir me up and make me think more.  Perhaps it is because I am a great lover of Shakespeare's work and as an actor myself, these are coveted roles, or perhaps there are just so many ways to interpret the work and I love to see how artists continue to find new meaning in these very old scripts. 

Today's movie was the recent adaptation of "Coriolanus" directed by and starring Ralph Fiennes.  I saw this play produced at the Old Globe in San Diego a few years ago and no doubt it's a difficult one. The characters are difficult for me to relate to somehow and the turn of events are rapid and were hard for me to understand, but I remember feeling more that Coriolanus was a victim of fate than I did in this film.  Corilanus is a brilliant soldier, steadfast and loyal to his country but his only true interest, clearly instilled in him by his domineering mother, is war and the fighting of it.  Coming back to Rome after his recent victory, he is promoted to General and Consul and must needs turn politician.  Basically, he can't and he is goaded and played by his enemies, who clearly wrote the politician's handbook, until he is brought down by his pride and rejected by the people and banished.  Because he refuses to be a flatterer, and reviles the citizens of the country that he is so patriotic for. He then joins the enemy camp, invades Rome, his mother shows up, gives an impassioned speech, he signs a peace treaty, and then is killed by his new comrades who have now branded him a traitor.  

In Fiennes version, there is nothing likable about Coriolanus, which makes it difficult to root for him.  His tragic flaw should be this honesty that he speaks of.  In seeing the play before, there was this simplicity to him, and while he was rough and bloodthirsty, he was truly patriotic and happy being who he was and excelled at what he did.  It wasn't his own ambition that moved him to seek a higher station but the will of the country he served and so he went along with it and that was his downfall.  He was no longer able to be himself.  It's not so much that he hates the citizens, but he only sees The State as a whole and has no interest in the individuals that make up that State and the politicians have a field day exploiting that.  In Fiennes version, he really does seem to hate the people whereas I felt it should be more that he is uncomfortable being among the people.  He's a fish out of water, and Fiennes comes off more as an arrogant bastard.  So it's hard to tell who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. 

There are some excellent performances in the film though.  Gerard Butler as Aufidius, the enemy leader, I thought was sufficiently macho but accessible.  Not to mention easy on the eyes.  Can he please have more roles where he speaks in his proper Scottish burr, rowr! I actually would very much like him to play MacBeth.  I think Branagh should direct a film version and cast him in the lead and Branagh could play Duncan , no Banquo!  Oo I will have to work on the rest of this casting and then write to him.  This could be brilliant.  I digress.  Vanessa Redgrave as Volumnia, Coriolanus mother, is electric.  She just sinks her teeth in and gnashes and throws this part all over the place.  Best thing in the movie. The lovely and charming James Nesbitt was perfectly cast against type as Tribune Sicinius, a devious and scheming politician. And Brian Cox as Menenius, a Senator and Coriolanus friend, is excellent.  I would watch him do anything though.  He is just one of those actors that is mesmerizing.  

All in all, I give it a solid B.  I thought it translated to the modern setting extremely well especially in our current disgusting politial environment, and clearly Fiennes is drawing parallels. He just has a different take on the character than I do. I'm not actually sure how he interprets him, as he comes across as unfeeling, somewhat robotic, the only person he lets that guard down with is his mother.  To me, Coriolanus is a straightforward man in a corrupt environment whose guilelessness is misinterpreted as arrogance and pride and therefore has no place in this world.  He lives for the ideal of Patriotism and as such he is a tool of The State, and unable to relate to the common people.  And the people are manipulated by the politicians who are against him.  It's a perverse and hideous cycle that leaves no room for honest, simple, deeply flawed men.  Sound familiar?

Happy list 7/19/12

It's back! And I've gathered some good ones this time.

- Mourning doves
- Miss Marple
- Benecio del Toro is directing "Pinocchio"
- Cousin Matthew
- Summer mornings
- Summer evenings
- People who are just happy that I'm there
- Ranier cherries
- Bobcat Goldthwait on "Wait, wait..."
- Station to Station
- New Project Runway!

Goodby Mr. Bradbury

I am not a reader of science fiction, but there are some writers who transcend genres. I think that my first introduction to Ray Bradbury was "Something Wicked This Way Comes", the Disney movie mind you, not even the book. But God I loved that movie. I, of course, read and loved "Farenheit 451" in high school and for the first time I realized that science fiction didn't all have to be about space and aliens. My first glimpse into a dystopian future and the worst possible future it could be. One without books, my one salvation. A book where I positively knew that I really would be a rebel if I lived in that world. I would have secret rooms built to protect my literature, my life. A book that showed me how precious knowledge was. There have been numerous short stories, in numerous anthologies that I have read, and always, no matter how fantastical the material, it is the humanity of his writing that I feel connected to. This poetic, loving, understanding of people.

For me though, my favorite Bradbury is "The Halloween Tree". My father bought me this book when I was probably around 11 or 12 maybe, and it was incredible. It's more a children's book, about a group of trick or treaters who meet a mysterious stranger at the haunted house at the end of town and chase their ailing friend's soul through the ages and the autumnal celebrations of death. The way he wrote about October and Halloween and autumn, spelled out on paper feeligs that I could never have put words to, and it was like finding a secret colony that spoke a language that I understood. It was just beautiful and it's one of those books that I read every year usually. It was one of those books that made me my own person.

So tonight, on the eve of Mr. Bradbury's passing, I honor him by turning off the tv, going to my local bookstore and finally reading "Something Wicked This Way Comes" and I can already feel his gorgeous autumnal world welcoming me with open arms.

A PINCH OF SALT

When a dream is born in you
With a sudden clamorous pain,
When you know the dream is true
And lovely, with no flaw nor stain,
O then, be careful, or with sudden clutch
You'll hurt the delicate thing you prize so much.

Dreams are like a bird that mocks,
Flirting the feathers of his tail.
When you seize at the salt-box
Over the hedge you'll see him sail.

Old birds are neither caught with salt nor chaff:
They watch you from the apple bough and laugh.

Poet, never chase the dream.
Laugh yourself and turn away.
Mask your hunger, let it seem
Small matter if he come or stay;
But when he nestles in your hand at last,
Close up your fingers tight and hold him fast.

- Robert Graves

American Idiot

When I bought my first Green Day album "Dookie" I hid it from my friends because they weren't considered true punk rock. Too pop, too mainstream, I mean come on it actually got radio play. Totally not cool enough. But I was hooked on "Basket Case". As much as I loved the anger and the angst and the frustration of the real thing, let's face it, but the time I got to it, it was already 10-15 years old and these boys were my peers. And their songs were seriously hitting the mark. They got the ennui, the frustration, the boredom, the sheer hopelessness, but they did it with humor too. They got that us suburban punks were pretty much as ridiculous as the shitholes that we lived in and it was just as much about us as it was about the society that made us. And Christ, Billie Joe was beautiful!

I went on to buy an earlier of album of theirs next, "1039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours", which I thought was more legit as it was on an independent punk label from up north and made before anyone knew who they were, and thus the obsession grew. Because see, what people don't really get, is that a lot of their songs are about love. I tapped in to this romaticism I found in Billie's lyrics. I am the queen of the unrequited love affair and was living a life of driving by guys houses at this time of my life, just damn near exploding at all times with my need and my love and my dreams of a true love that would get me out of my miserable home. And Billie Joe seemed to know exactly how I felt. He became a pretty consistent companion in my rounds.

Over the years they stayed with me off and on, always a fan but you know life goes on. When American Idiot came out, it was like re-discovering them all over again. This album was big, it was loud and the lyrics still seemed to express my feelings in a way no one else, least of all me, was able to. Not only that, but my boys, my little punks had made a concept album, a rock opera. Now I cut my teeth on Tommy by The Who and I love concept albums, but here was one written for me, about my time and my world, not something that was already legendary before I was born. I'm not saying it's in the same league as Tommy, I don't claim that, and I'm not saying that Green Day will take their place next to the gods of rock n roll by any stretch of the imagination. It's just the intimacy of it. This one was mine.

This week, I very luckily was invited to go see the musical that was made from American Idiot. When they announced that they were doing this musical and it was going to Broadway, that old punk in me that hid that first album was screaming loud and clear. WTF?! A fucking musical! Man, how much more of a fucking sell out could they be? But I still wanted to see it even if I acted like I didn't. So when my friend emailed me that she had tickets to see it in LA, I jumped at it. We took off work early, ate an amazing meal in some chichi restaurant and settled in to our amazing center stage orchestra seats. And it rocked. The three guys that the story revolved around seriously could have been any of the guys I ran with in high school. It's so weird to have what you thought was your subversive little pathetic world played out on stage before you. The music was not diluted or censored, the choreography was edgy and raucous and rough. Yeah there was some shit that I was like "um, no" about. But for the most part, I loved it and best of all it brought me back to my boys again. And dude, the lead guy was hot! I might have to go see it again when it comes to the center.

OMG, I love you Billie Joe!!!!

1/24/12

So good news, the apartment people fixed my sink!

Bad news, I have to wait until my contract is up in May to get my iPhone. The one I've been jonesing for for months. Blerg.

Good news, I lost a pound! What?! A whole pound! Damn girl, how did you accomplish such a feat? Ok, yeah, fuck off, it's a small victory, but seriously my scale has said the exact same weight for a fucking month now so when it was a pound less this morning, it was a pretty good start to the day. And when you think about it, a pound is actually a pretty decent chunk of fat. I mean, go to the store and pick up a pound of lard and tell me that's not something. So there. Oh and I walked for 30 minutes, had yummy Chipotle and got the bowl, not the burrito and just did 40 situps and 20 pushups (wall pushups) Boo-yah!

On the drive into work this morning there were 2 cop cars parked on either side of the rural 2 lane highway that I drive everyday. Well one cop car and maybe a ranger or marshall or something. No sign of the cops themselves. This weirds me out way more than seeing a major accident or somehting because I'm generally convinced that they're off in the bushes looking at some half eaten corpse that was dumped there a month ago. Yes I watch a lot of CSI but seriously what else could they be doing there?

This concludes tonight's stream of conscious ramblings.

Welcome to confessions.

New Year New You

Ha! Yes there is implied sarcasm in the title of this blog.

So you might have noticed that I have changed the title of my blog. I had decided that the previous one sounded like I was going to write something really profound in this space and quite frankly it had begun to intimidate me. I blame it for my failure to write. It was a lie, I much more prefer the truth of this heading. I was going to go with "Confessions of a Spinster Cat Lady" but that just looked too pathetic and I knew that Jami would yell at me.

So here it is, Sunday morning again and I have wasted my morning so far being completely lazy. Really, there's laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning to be done, but I just can't bring myself to get started. And it's not like I've done anything all week. I am being held captive by my tv. It calls to me. Just turn me on, and everything will be ok... no just watch the same shows over and over again... really, we're your friends. Sigh. I do love my tv.

It's January and it's cold and my bed is so comfy.

I did audition for a show yesterday, for the first time in almost a year. Callbacks are tonight at 8pm (wtf?) and I did get called back so maybe if I get cast, that will liven things up a bit. I got a pedicure & bought some clothes. And then it was Hawaiian BBQ and tv the rest of the night. I really need to stop with the Hawaiian BBQ too, I eat it constantly.

I should be exercising too, but again, glued to the bed. Surprisingly enough, I have started doing Zumba, which I'm actually enjoying. It's hard and I always get a headache afterwards, but I feel good about it. I miss dancing. I miss my body being able to move and being flexible. If i don't get cast in this show, maybe I'll sign up for something else, maybe a yoga class somewhere.

I'm just afraid that I've turned into my ex-mother-in-law, who never dated anyone after her husband bailed on her and she had no friends, and filled up her time watching her soaps and taking exercise classes that didn't help her at all and eating and doing crafts from Michael's. I do a lot of those things and I swore I wasn't going to let that happen to me.

I miss the vibrant theatre life that I was leading. It's been almost 10 years since I joined my troupe and everything has changed since then. So many friendships broken, so many people gone on to other things. I just tried to do my best but somehow it got lost along the way and now I don't know where to go. It's not that I don't have good things and people now, I do. It's just that the passion isn't there, the spark, the connections, the fun. The spontaneity. I dunno, I feel like I grew up and it sucks as much as I thought it would. It's mundane.

So that's where I am today. Maybe I need something to work towards. Maybe I've achieved what there is to be achieved in OC theatre so what now? I've acted, directed, run a theatre, and there's really nothing to show for all that. I still feel as invisible as ever. It's really frustrating.

God, I'm bored.