Happy List

At some point last week, I realized the euphoria had worn off. Friday morning dawned and the old sense of depression was back. So once again I decided to fight. I have no intent to spend my summer vacation moping around waiting for something exciting to happen and being disappointed.

I began keeping a list of things that made me feel good, those tiny moments that we usually ignore but that make life worth living. And to make it official I want to share these lists.

Here's what I had for Friday:

Well, Friday duh
Chocolate Chip Muffin and Sweet Mint Iced Tea
The Killers
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
Ok Go
Sleep sleep and more sleep

Yes, let's back up a minute. I actually won Employee of the Month for May. Now I make no bones about the fact that I hate my job. I won't go into it here, but it seriously sucks my soul into hell on a daily basis and I need to find a new one. However, I have always secretly wanted to be Employee of the Month if only for the irony. I go into the monthly meeting wondering "maybe this time?" and it never was. I've never been known for my team attitude, but I am good at what I do. I always figured I didn't kiss enough ass to actually get it. But Friday as I was grasping for straws of sanity, it happened. Dear God, a little recognition. Hugs and congratulations, emails saying I was someone's favorite AP person. That this was so deserved and should have happened a long time ago. What is this? A sudden sense of pride in my work? Craziness! It was like getting off stage on opening night. Yes, I admit I'm an attention whore.

So by focusing on the little, something exciting and big was actually allowed to happen. Hmmm. I still need a new job.

Saturday's list:

Well Saturday I didn't sit around with a notebook, so I didn't record anything, but a small list doesn't mean things were bad.

Blue and the ocean
Chinese food with friends
Aloe vera

And so far today:

Perfectly scrambled eggs and Frank's Red Hot
Anthony Bourdain
Actually catching the cute neighbor across the way out for his early morning shirtless cigarette.
All About Eve

So there's my new project. It may be boring for any poor readers out there, (although I suspect most of what I'm writing already is) but I find this an interesting experiment. There will be many many repeats I'm sure as I find comfort in the same things over and over again and lots of food stuffs will appear I'm sure.

"My life is made of patterns that can scarcely be controlled."

-Simon and Garfunkel